

Introduction
Turns out Mr. Emotionally Constipated runs on premium husbandOS 2.0: he intercepts my ex's punch mid-swing like my personal superhero, sabotages the said ex's new girlfriend's "roofie-and-goon special" into a lifetime movie audition, and fires my backstabbing coworkers with "productivity optimization" severance letters... Bonus feature? He magically gets me screaming his name between hotel sheets.
Just as I'm falling for my new hubby (and his suspiciously perfect abs), two pink lines appear on a pregnancy test.
We've survived exes, tabloids, and my questionable life choices. With babies on the way, his overbearing family sniffing for scandals, and my still-unpaid student loans — what else can go wrong?
...Right?
Chapter 1
Barbara's POV
The thought of my mother's matchmaking schemes made me want to scream as I sat in the corner booth of the café, nervously stirring my latte for the fifteenth time. The foam had long since dissolved, but my anxiety remained intact.
At twenty-five, I shouldn't be letting Michelle Grey blackmail me into blind dates, but she wasn't just any mother. She was an unstoppable force armed with guilt trips sharp enough to pierce armor.
I checked my watch. 3:05 PM. He was late. Maybe he wasn't coming? The thought sent a shameful surge of relief through me.
Right on cue, the bell above the door chimed. I glanced up and my heart stopped.
Walking through the door was Levi Gardener — the Levi Gardener — CEO of Gardener Group. My boss. Well, technically my boss's boss's boss's boss, but still. The man whose name adorned the building where I had spent the last two years filing paperwork and making coffee runs.
His gaze swept the room until it landed directly on me. Without asking permission, he slid into the seat across from me.
"Ms. Cooper," he said, his voice a deep, controlled baritone.
Why does he know my name? I stared at him, my mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. "Mr. Gardener," I finally managed to squeak out. "W-what are you doing here?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I believe we have an appointment."
The world tilted sideways. Oh. My. God. Levi Gardener was my blind date.
"You're... you're my..." I couldn't even finish the sentence.
His lips twitched. Not quite a smile, but something adjacent to amusement. "You didn't know it would be me?"
I shook my head vigorously. "No, sir, my mother just gave me a time and place."
Before I could gather the courage to voice any questions, his phone buzzed. After a brief conversation, he announced, "We're leaving," already standing.
"We?" I echoed weakly.
He didn't answer, just turned and headed for the door, clearly expecting me to follow.
And God help me, I did.
The parking lot was bathed in late afternoon sunlight. A sleek black Maybach waited at the curb, a man in a dark suit — Chandler Hill, or "The Chancellor" as we called him at the office — stood beside it, opening the rear door as we approached.
As the car pulled away with barely a whisper, I stared at my hands, my mind racing through possible scenarios, each more implausible than the last.
"You're uncomfortable," Levi stated.
No shit, Sherlock.
"It's not every day I discover my blind date is my boss," I said, proud that my voice only trembled slightly.
"My family has been insisting I find a wife. I don't particularly want to waste time on the whole dating process."
My eyebrows shot up. Surely he wasn't suggesting...
"You're clean-cut, pleasant to look at. Marriage with you wouldn't be an issue."
I choked on air. "You— What? Marriage?"
"Is that a problem?" he asked, as casually as if he had suggested getting coffee.
The Maybach glided to a stop outside City Hall. No way. No fucking way.
I remained frozen in my seat, fingers digging into the butter-soft leather. Through the open door, the late afternoon sun slashed across my face, the heat a stark contrast to the icy dread crystallizing in my veins.
Levi was watching me, those dark eyes unreadable. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his tone suggesting that the only wrong thing here was my hesitation.
Before I could formulate a response, he slid out his side of the car and disappeared into the building, leaving me alone with Chandler, who was still holding my door open like some bizarro chauffeur-slash-prison guard.
I could run. The thought flashed through my mind with startling clarity. But as I looked at Chandler's expectant face, another thought occurred to me — if I ran, would Levi hunt me down? The man had resources. He knew where I worked, probably where I lived, my social security number, and God knows what else.
With a deep breath that did absolutely nothing to calm my racing heart, I placed my hand in Chandler's and stepped out of the car.
Less than ten minutes later, I emerged from City Hall, blinking in the sunlight like a prisoner released after years in captivity. In my hands was a marriage certificate. An actual, legal document stating that I, Barbara Cooper, was now married to Levi Gardener.
The whole process had been surreal in its efficiency. Just signatures and stamps and congratulations from a bored-looking clerk who didn't seem to find anything unusual about our strange, silent ceremony.
"I have an urgent meeting," Levi said, his voice cutting through my stupor. "Chandler will take you home. I'll visit your parents later tonight."
My parents. Oh God. Now my mother is going to kill me.
Seeing me nod, Levi turned without another word and strode away, his back straight as a ruler. At the corner, he hailed a taxi with a single, authoritative gesture that had three cabs fighting for the privilege of picking him up. As the chosen cab pulled away, I stared after it, half-convinced I had hallucinated the entire afternoon.
"Ma'am?" Chandler's voice pulled me from my thoughts. He was holding the car door open, his expression revealing nothing. "Please."
Ma'am. Not Ms. Cooper anymore. The subtle shift in how I was addressed made this new reality sink in just a little deeper. As I approached the car, Chandler reached into his jacket pocket and produced a crisp business card, which he presented to me with both hands like it contained state secrets.
"This is my card with my personal number. If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to call, day or night."
I accepted the card with trembling fingers, glancing at the elegant embossed lettering: Chandler Hill, Executive Assistant to Levi Gardener, CEO.
As I slid into the backseat, my hand brushed against something on the leather seat. It was a folder. Curious, I opened it to find various documents inside — including what looked like a medical form. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a kidney donation consent form, completely blank where the donor's name should be.
Huh. Is Levi planning to donate a kidney to someone?
I shook away the silly thought and closed the folder, placing it back where I found it. Whatever medical decisions my new husband was making were the least of my concerns right now. I still have a bombshell to drop today.
Last Chapters
#50 Chapter 50 Dona Wants A Great-grandchild
Last Updated: 4/1/2025#49 Chapter 49 Barbara's Fever
Last Updated: 4/1/2025#48 Chapter 48 Brandon Saves the Day
Last Updated: 4/1/2025#47 Chapter 47 Harbordale's Most Eligible Non-bachelor
Last Updated: 3/31/2025#46 Chapter 46 Levi's Injuries
Last Updated: 3/31/2025#45 Chapter 45 The Sudden Distance
Last Updated: 3/31/2025#44 Chapter 44 Who Is Beatrice?
Last Updated: 3/28/2025#43 Chapter 43 A Wedding?
Last Updated: 3/28/2025#42 Chapter 42 Levi Helps Me Apply Medicine
Last Updated: 3/28/2025#41 Chapter 41 A Pineapple-flavored Punishment
Last Updated: 3/27/2025
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