A Wolf's Instinct

“It’s alright, my princess. You don’t need to worry. All you have to do is think about shifting and everything will go into place.”

The sun was already below the horizon, giving the sky a soft glowing light and a hue of pink, orange and purple. It was twilight when the Summer pack gathered, clumping side-by-side, in their ritual area. Luna’s family was sitting in front of everyone else, giving the best view of the area where the shapeshifting ceremony will commence. The entirety of the ceremony was for Luna. It was her 16th birthday, the youngest daughter of Connall, the alpha male of the Summer pack.

At sixteen, the young wolves were expected to shapeshift. However, a different kind of attention was given to Luna's shapeshifting--everyone was anticipating--as she was believed to be their protector. The one in the prophecy.

The prophecy was given to the Summer Pack when they started losing to their rival pack, the Winter Pack. Their rivalry had been going on for like a decade or two now, and the Winter Pack had grown stronger and stronger each time.

Numbers had been lost from the Summer pack during a few clashes. Comrades grotesquely and unmercifully deprived of life before their eyes. The Summer pack was now on the losing end. With their dwindling hopes, they prayed to their ancestors and, after a few days, they were answered with a prophecy through a dream.

“The darkness will be illuminated by the blue moon and the pack will be engulfed with warmth as an heiress’ cry will fill the silence of a cold summer night. She will glisten, beautifully, for she will be hope that you long for desire.”

The Summer pack were actually doubtful and worried if the prophecy was true, all their doubts subsided two years later when Luna came into the picture.

One night, during a blue moon, a wolf heiress was born. Everyone was in awe of her silver hair that glowed and shimmered as the light of the moon emblazed her. She was then named Luna, the beautiful blue moon baby of the Alpha couple of the Summer pack. The pack believed that she’s the one mentioned in the prophecy—the next alpha. A female werewolf that can change into an Anubis form and can perform metamorphosis. The night was filled with celebration as the whole pack howled a song full of glee, and for the first time in the longest years, they went to sleep at ease.

Her childhood was full of lessons to prepare her for her duties when the right time will come. She was expected to read a lot of books about their history in the morning, and train in the afternoon. Nonetheless, it was, at the same time, fun and she was given only the best of the best quality of everything she asked and was loved and nurtured well by her parents and the people around her. Everyone adored her, specially her sister—Ayame.

Luna and Ayame were best of friends, at least that’s what Luna thought. At night, Ayame would always come into Luna’s room to brush her hair and ask her about her training. As much as Ayame adored Luna, Luna also looked up to her older sister—a strong, independent and intelligent woman—a lot. Ayame was Luna's icon.

Luna had undergone to extensive training at a young age for this moment—the shapeshifting ceremony. This was an opportunity for her to cater her prowess in front of everyone and to prove to them that she’s the chosen one.

Everyone was sitting patiently, waiting for the ceremony to start. Right on cue, Connall gave a loud howl to kick off the ceremony, he then gestured Luna to go at the center. The solemnity of the situation can be felt through the unmitigated silence of the crowd. All the members of the pack remained embedded around her, their eyes merely looking at Luna as she walked towards the spacious area at the center. She walked steadily slow, as if she was counting her steps, while trying to calm herself. Despite being trained for this moment she was still nervous, but her sister gave her an encouraging smile.

Birthdays should be full of celebration, but Luna, on the other hand, was subjected to something that’ll make or break her life.

She started kneeling down as if she’s surrendering herself to everyone and looked up to pray to her ancestors. Her sweats were dripping down from her head and her body as she immensely let herself be in the moment. She stayed in that position for a while, focusing every cell in her body to shift. However, she still couldn't feel any changes inside her. So, she slowly moved her hands into a praying gesture and bowed down as the weight on her shoulders felt heavier and heavier as time passed by.

She started putting force and strength into her whole body, her desperation and anger seething inside her as she heard whispers from some members of their pack doubting her capacity and capability. There was still no genetic transformation or reaction happening inside her; her confidence was now replaced with pressure and anxiety.

However, the pack still remained and waited for her, for they also knew that there were some wolves who shapeshifted after a couple of hours. Luna's knees were starting to feel numb from kneeling for too long, her whole body started going weak from all the strength she exerted just to transform. She tried concentrating again, but she couldn't focus anymore. Her head felt heavy as she couldn't bare to see to the looks of disappointment from the pack. Her mind was now in a whirlwind. Everyone started shapeshifting to their wolf form and howling and she was unsure if it was to encourage her or mock her.

They all waited and waited for her to transform, but few hours had passed and she still remained in her human form. That sun finally shined, illuminating the darkness of the area and giving a glare into everyone's eyes, that’s when her father decided to stop the ceremony. Connall, as the alpha, felt humiliated that his daughter didn't transform, so he went home right away. The area got submerged with gossips, half were mocking her and the other half were quite understanding that maybe she was just a late bloomer and will transform next year.

The same ritual was held when she turned seventeen, only to be disappointed again, because she still couldn’t transform. From that day on, the trajectory of her life changed. That’s when she realized that she was only loved because of who everyone painted and expected her to be, not because of who she really was. The then so happy memories were replaced with a tormenting one.

Day to day, she experienced bullying and derisions from her peers. And the people—her family—whom she thought will always have her back saw her as an ignominy; her father would always lambaste her for not being able to shapeshift, her mother wouldn’t even talk to her, and her sister would always gloat on her. It’s normal for her to go home full of wounds and bruises, her healing capability, although still fast, was not as fast as everyone else of her kind, but she was suffering more on the inside than on the outside. The once believed alpha was now an omega.

“Maybe that’s why you have a silver hair, not because you’re unique but because you don’t belong.”

“You should not stay here; this is not your home.”

A year full of suffering and excruciating pain had passed again, Luna was finally turning eighteen—ready to welcome her birthday with a clean slate. New life, new appearance, new her. Sitting at the front of her mirror, she was staring at her reflection with mixed emotions—excited for what lies ahead, despondent for not being able to fix the seemingly impasse that she’s facing with her family, and happy for finally tasting the freedom she long craved.

She was ready--ready to bury everything about her past--however, her hair flashed like diamonds as the light from the moon passed through her window and struck it, along with it were fragments from her childhood that she had been dying to forget. It was a happy memory, to say the least, but she was determined not to let herself be incarcerated with her past anymore. She needed to abandon everything—even if it’s a blissful recollection. She needed to break-free from the chains.

Tears cascaded from her eyes as the memories came crashing down on her, it was still so vivid as if it was just yesterday. She did everything to mitigate the pain that they’ve inflicted her, after all, they’re still her family. All she wanted was to be accepted and loved, but excruciation and emotional torment were what she received.

Maybe, like her uncle Fenris, she will find love and acceptance from a mortal being—someone who’s ordinary and mundane, but with a big heart and understanding.

So, she orchestrated an escape and had been carefully planning for a year now, making sure she wouldn’t miss a single detail. On her 18th birthday she would break through from this blackhole that’s been engulfing her. Run away from home. Start anew.

Wiping her tears, she then proceeded to cut her hair short and dyed it all black. With a heavy and somber sigh, she said with her breath, “It’s finally time to execute it and get out of here.” And reached out for her bags, preparing herself to escape through the windows of her bedroom.